Ms. Erable

I could take accusations especially when I know it is not true. But, it is the ‘WHY’ they tend to accuse me, was the most thorny part to bear. It is even more distressing when you are being generalized as someone who was once part of your persona--one of your multiple personalities with which you tried to get rid of because you have found the reason to. Just so when you resolve to change for the better, fate makes sure that you don’t.

Being judgmental is embedded in the conventional population. Personally, I have learned to embrace that for I constitute the normal curve a.k.a. the stereotypes. Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn of how people tend to brand me. Nevertheless, when you expect that this is such ‘misery-loves-company’ melodrama population; you still would want to be understood with a handful...or the least, with only one person. You somehow expect that the earthly counterpart of Neo Anderson would understand you inside-out, naked or even fully dressed. You wished that even if the world have turned their backs on you, you still appear triumphant for your source code reads that a unique individual filled the void, someone with equal significance to the elixir of life.

You barely step your feet on the ground as if dozed with 10 times more prozac than a bipolar depressed individual should take. Slowly did it start to surface that your Neo is a just part of those who are damned for mediocrity. A viral infected Agent Smith in the flesh.

“Why do good things come to an end?”, because I am not Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, Snow White... because I’m not in a fairytale storybook. I should not expect for a Prince, it is just so unrealistic, but I never did expect for one. I was expecting for someone who would be bitter to me so long as it is what he truly is. Someone who would tell me that I am so attached with my misery and would still love for who I really am. Someone who would respect my ideas on Evolution and obsession of Charles Darwin, my few commentaries on the Bible, my critiques on political balderdash, my absurd belief on Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis...

Could someone please see me behind my face and infamous escapades? A lot of people tell me that I’m a difficult person. It is maybe because they expected something less and could not handle more. 1+1=3 ... I am greater than the sum of my parts, fyi.

What a relief to realize that even if life may have been against me at times, but hell yeah, I’m enjoying it.