Aki's Version of the Truth Hurts

I've been on-leave from work due to my recent gall bladder removal operation. For a couple of days, I have been spending quality time with my kids. Husband took a 2-week emergency leave as well  to help me on my recovery . Those precious days we've been together as a complete family were like heaven. And today, that piece of heaven ended. Next week, I will be going back to work and my husband left for UAE today. It is a very sad moment for me and my kids. Tearfully heart-breaking...

As I was cramming to finish my reports (on a weekend), my second child, Inyaki(Aki) came up to me and asked a very interesting and painful question. He looked over the window, then asked, 

Aki: Mom, why do parents go to work? 

Me : So that they will have money to pay for all the dues Aki. Like the electricity, school, groceries and buy you the things you need. For Kuya and Majika... 

Then, he looked at me and frowned as if he was not satisfied with my answer. In his little young heart and mind he reasoned dramatically: 

Aki: No Mom, I think parents go to work so that they can be away from their kids. They don't want to take care of their kids. 

I was really controlling the tears from falling,  then I asked him something that he always agree with. 

Me: Aki, do you want me to stop working?

Aki:(all smiles and gleefully grinning) Pleaaaase Mom!!!! So that I can ask you questions anytime, and hug you and play with you all day long.

I hugged him so tight then I cried so hard.  Right before me is a blessing bigger than any career in the world. I have never felt so guilty in my life.

I have always directed my kids to be independent, exposed them to the cause and effect of their actions and to teaching them to be responsible with their own feelings.In his own capacity, a 5-year old boy so in touch with his feelings- I saw the fruits of my labor. It matters not how painful it was. But I needed it to shed light into my priorities. 

 As I try to teach my kids everything about life, my kids has taught me what life is all about. 

 

The Meantime Girl

She’s the one you call/text when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you are happy with your set of friends or go on a drinking spree or go to discos to spend time with your ex-girlfriends on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girl friends you’ve been flirting and looking around, before you find `The One`. She is the one you keep in the MEANTIME.

She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a "real" woman, either. She may be bitchy enough, moody enough, but not sexy enough for you to be proud of to be seen in the light. She’s too laid-back; too easily amused by the same things you are amused with. She’s too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a `real` woman does. She’s cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, but you still do keep a certain amount of pretending around her which you think that the real you does not deserve her. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and loves you very much. And you know that you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, which she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this relationship has a definite and sure ending that you just could not bear to tell her. Nor even there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on flirting with another woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally hinted interests on you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise from you that you will be a ‘good boy’. But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it’s really not fair.

You know that although she would always tried to explain to you how she feels, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend all your quality happy times with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short or a too careless with how she looks or wears, or hasn’t the sexy body you always dream about, nor does she even smell good or just really not that type.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that you really want in a woman. So she remains forever the funny girlfriend, the steadfast companion, the sacrificial lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty or open doors with her smile.

Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she loves you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her up a couple of times and absolutely no reason to be around, she still is.