Feliz Cumpleaños TRISTAN!!!!

Happy 4th birthday to my eldest son TRISTAN BEAU LUNDAY.

I was thinking of throwing him a party this weekend. But last night, he asked if we could go to Camotes... Hmmm.. Tempting. I have always want to go somewhere before the summer ends. I may consider. We will see, i need to decide today. I want to free myself with the hassles of organizing a party. I

Most likely, it is going to be Camotes this weekend.

HAPPY BIRTHAY TAN. Mag infinity pool ta sa Mangodlong ha? or basin ganahan ka sa Ogtong Bantayan lang ta! :)

A New Day Has Come

One step at a time. One day at a time. Until the day will come that the hurt will not be as much as it is right now.

If people can live without letting you be a part of their lives. Then most likely you can live without them also.

What is the point of making and reminding someone that they constitute the bigger part of your life when all they want is not to be part of it and would rather exclude you in their priority list taking your needs and your hurt for granted.

It is not fair. I guess this is the perfect time to move forward and get rid of the people that make you unhappy.

Good day everyone!!

Of Being Alone

One day, I will look back to this night and the nights before and will congratulate myself for how strong I had been. Despite the challenges in life and the emotional burdens--I have tackled it ALL BY MYSELF. It is not easy, being in a very demanding job, being a solo parent and an introvert by heart to address the turmoils in life alone. I seek refuge and was declined. Instead, I was treated like a pariah in the process, causing even more stresses in the already stressed and heavy state. As a woman, I already consider myself strong at heart. I thought I was that strong when it failed me, my defenses started to wear off and weakened me down. And who I have to run to? No one. I acted like a person with multiple personality disorder at night or at times when I'm alone trying to pacify myself. Self-treatment. It was not easy but it's the only option I got. Imagine how painful it is to repeatedly remind yourself that you should not entertain feelings. 'Halt, hypothalamus, Halt! Devoid me of emotions, I will entertain you later.' But is there really someone who could master and control the diversity of human nature. Tawo rajud ko, magpakatawo rajud unta ko. Pathetic isn't it? But I still could see the silver-lining to all of these. what does not kill me makes me stronger. I am overruled by the number of reasons I need to live than the number of reasons I need to kill myself. The picture below is the reason why I need to be the strongest.xoxo bugoys!

Cold as You

You have a way of coming easily to me. And when you take, you take the very best of me. So I start a fight cause I need to feel something.And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted. Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day. Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say. And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through. I've never been anywhere cold as you.You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story. Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you. You never did give a damn thing but I cried, cried for you.And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you.

vox emoticon

i am nowhere near perfection but when i make the wrong decisions, you throw stones. i have feelings and could feel pain but you prefer not to see me cry. you know i have good things to share but you don't want to hear my thoughts.you love to see me smile but you don't really know what I've been through.

feel me coz i am vulnerable
help me because i am weak
rescue me coz i'm in pain
listen to me coz i need to be heard

don't you know that i am happiest with you
but when you see me happy
i hope that ul be happy for me also


i am weak because of you
and i am strong because of you


i miss you.xoxo

Staind - So Far Away [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

I am enthralled with this song. Everytime I hear it, I always take a pause and savor it magnificence. The intro guitar riff is simply amazing, please excuse me for lack of a better term. Immortal!!!



Sharing the lyrics also...

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’ve never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)
And now that we're here,
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today immortal lines! =)These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing ok
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before

Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)
And now that were here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all mistakes one life contains
They all finally start to go away
And now that were here
So far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please dont shake me

(chorus)
And now that were here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes one life contains
They all finally start to go away
And now that were here
So far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

Week 2: Only Reminds Me of You

When you left, not only have I lost a husband, I departed with my bestfriend. YOu were my confidant on shitty days and you were my sole source of relief on disturbingly odd consequences. I thought I would feel better and more used to your absence by now. But not. Hell not!!! I feel worse and this apathy is killing me. And this is what I call exaggeration at its worst form. Forgive me for cursing love songs before, now I could definitely relate to them. huhuhu....

Everywhere I go and everything I do and think of, reminds me of you. And it's becoming more painful every passing day. I have to do something with this prolonged absence of yours. I'm getting a passport not later than May of this year. Apply for a job where you and I could work and raise our family. I don't care how long I will be pushing my luck. Its the best I could do to remedy this irregularity we are in. Families are not designed for prolonged absence, back it up with effin statistics, I'm scared, definitely scared.=(