The Good Earth

Tonight(I mean morning), I am reminded by the book 'The Good Earth' and the character in the book , O-lan. I know, most of the people are unfamiliar with the book and thus gives me great advantage as to what this entry means. I would neither unfold the purpose of such  as I just want this to be a reminder that I need to be more patient and I need to love myself more.

Happy Father's Day

The patriarchal system is still at large today and men are still heavily considered as the pillars of a family. In this special day of the patriarchs, I wish that you discover within yourself the essence of being a father not only because it is what society dictates you to be. But you should also ponder deeply that your role as a father transcends beyond being just a provider to the family. You are an essential part in the personality and values formation of our children that would eventually determine their success in life.

Hahahahah, char au ako intro noh? Insomiac attack napud.  Anyways Tits, I need to commend you for doing an incredibly amazing job for Tristan and Aki. Proof to that, even with your absence-- they cry for you whenever I am being such a disciplinarian. It didn't wear out in their young minds that they are always protected with your extreme considerations, which I do not have.

I hope you will pursue that which improves you as a person because the little ones will always look up to you as their role model -- the way you look up to Papa Victor now.

Happy Father's Day Oink2x! We will celebrate this day for you. We miss you very much. We LOVE you so  much! See u very soon. xoxo

Note to self

Time is gold. Time with family is diamond. Unfortunately, not everyone sees the value in that. Because time with friends is more valuable.

Why am i having a hard time accepting that what is important to me means very little to other people... Or worst, to people significant to me. Why can't i just accept that i could not enforce the importance of which that makes me truly happy to someone who refuses to acknowledge it.

Life is not always how u want it to be. Because no matter how pure your intentions are, people just don't want to see the importance of it. It is simply not worth their time. It may hurt, hard and deep. But in this battle, u alone could conquer it when u embrace the fact that even the ones u love just don't care.

Feliz Cumpleaños TRISTAN!!!!

Happy 4th birthday to my eldest son TRISTAN BEAU LUNDAY.

I was thinking of throwing him a party this weekend. But last night, he asked if we could go to Camotes... Hmmm.. Tempting. I have always want to go somewhere before the summer ends. I may consider. We will see, i need to decide today. I want to free myself with the hassles of organizing a party. I

Most likely, it is going to be Camotes this weekend.

HAPPY BIRTHAY TAN. Mag infinity pool ta sa Mangodlong ha? or basin ganahan ka sa Ogtong Bantayan lang ta! :)

A New Day Has Come

One step at a time. One day at a time. Until the day will come that the hurt will not be as much as it is right now.

If people can live without letting you be a part of their lives. Then most likely you can live without them also.

What is the point of making and reminding someone that they constitute the bigger part of your life when all they want is not to be part of it and would rather exclude you in their priority list taking your needs and your hurt for granted.

It is not fair. I guess this is the perfect time to move forward and get rid of the people that make you unhappy.

Good day everyone!!

Of Being Alone

One day, I will look back to this night and the nights before and will congratulate myself for how strong I had been. Despite the challenges in life and the emotional burdens--I have tackled it ALL BY MYSELF. It is not easy, being in a very demanding job, being a solo parent and an introvert by heart to address the turmoils in life alone. I seek refuge and was declined. Instead, I was treated like a pariah in the process, causing even more stresses in the already stressed and heavy state. As a woman, I already consider myself strong at heart. I thought I was that strong when it failed me, my defenses started to wear off and weakened me down. And who I have to run to? No one. I acted like a person with multiple personality disorder at night or at times when I'm alone trying to pacify myself. Self-treatment. It was not easy but it's the only option I got. Imagine how painful it is to repeatedly remind yourself that you should not entertain feelings. 'Halt, hypothalamus, Halt! Devoid me of emotions, I will entertain you later.' But is there really someone who could master and control the diversity of human nature. Tawo rajud ko, magpakatawo rajud unta ko. Pathetic isn't it? But I still could see the silver-lining to all of these. what does not kill me makes me stronger. I am overruled by the number of reasons I need to live than the number of reasons I need to kill myself. The picture below is the reason why I need to be the strongest.xoxo bugoys!

Cold as You

You have a way of coming easily to me. And when you take, you take the very best of me. So I start a fight cause I need to feel something.And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted. Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day. Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say. And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through. I've never been anywhere cold as you.You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story. Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you. You never did give a damn thing but I cried, cried for you.And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you.