Of Being Alone

One day, I will look back to this night and the nights before and will congratulate myself for how strong I had been. Despite the challenges in life and the emotional burdens--I have tackled it ALL BY MYSELF. It is not easy, being in a very demanding job, being a solo parent and an introvert by heart to address the turmoils in life alone. I seek refuge and was declined. Instead, I was treated like a pariah in the process, causing even more stresses in the already stressed and heavy state. As a woman, I already consider myself strong at heart. I thought I was that strong when it failed me, my defenses started to wear off and weakened me down. And who I have to run to? No one. I acted like a person with multiple personality disorder at night or at times when I'm alone trying to pacify myself. Self-treatment. It was not easy but it's the only option I got. Imagine how painful it is to repeatedly remind yourself that you should not entertain feelings. 'Halt, hypothalamus, Halt! Devoid me of emotions, I will entertain you later.' But is there really someone who could master and control the diversity of human nature. Tawo rajud ko, magpakatawo rajud unta ko. Pathetic isn't it? But I still could see the silver-lining to all of these. what does not kill me makes me stronger. I am overruled by the number of reasons I need to live than the number of reasons I need to kill myself. The picture below is the reason why I need to be the strongest.xoxo bugoys!