HOW TO CATCH A LIAR

 

 

Expansion & Contraction: A liar tends to expand contractions: “I didn’t stay up all night surfing those porn sites” becomes “I did not stay up all night surfing those porn sites,” with an indignant look thrown in for good measure.

B-b-b-bad To The Bone: A liar might stutter, stammer, and otherwise wrap his tongue around his forehead.

Pause & Insert Here: A liar may pause and insert odd, non-word sounds into his speech to fill the uncomfortable silence. Ah, er, um, oh and sometimes duh are a liar’s vowels.

Grunts & Groans: A liar might clear his throat often and make other strange, guttural noises.

Let Me Qualify This: A liar tends to make judicious use of namsey-pamsey qualifiers such as ‘however,’ ‘sometimes,’ and ‘generally,’ stitching his fast-and-loose excuses with this limp, verbal pasta.

Could You Repeat That?: A liar might repeat the question you just asked in order to buy time.

A Trapped Rat: Once cornered, a liar will probably deny he’s lying. He’ll claim with a nasally whine and a pounding fist, that that he has no reason to lie. Uh-huh. You know better – he has every reason to lie.

Smooth Talker: A liar might talk fast. And smoothly and convincingly. Hey, no one said this was easy.